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Check Out All This Shit

Wow. I spent a lot of time writing these words. I hope, dear reader, that you take the time to peruse them. I hope as well, that you do not peruse them while I’m trying to run a fucking game.

These Guys are the Head Honchos, the Bodacious Badasses Who Lead Our Adventure

Holy Fucking Christ we have a lot of characters. We have Lichen, the Shifter Ranger Sword Guy, who blends all kinds of gross and hideous creatures into an even more disgusting pulp with his two trusty, trusty blades. Wow! What a Badass. We have Ardent Theodore, the mysterious Half-Elven psion who’s really useful at thinking, who got thrown out of her Noble House because the Nenlast Nobility are serious dicks, and whose last name I regrettably cannot recall. She is also a Badass, who scared the shit out of some wolves so well even some Dire, Dire Wolves and a Dire, Dire Bear, and a Dire, Dire Ettin, all of whom could fucker her up in the blink of an eye, decided not to fuck with her on account of how scary she looked. And there’s an elf. A lone, lonely elf, all by him self. He is a Seeker, and we don’t know shit about him, not even his name. But wait! There is one thing we do know! We know for sure that he has the worst luck, and could really benefit from some time at the Archery Range. And we have Tzacharech, the Noble Palladin of Bahamut, who is inconveniently insubstantial at the moment. Wow, what horrible luck. If only the party and the fated Mind Behind The Universe had planned their adventures for when old Tzach were actually present and visible, maybe he could join in. What a bunch of Assholes. Another mysterious figure, a figure mysterious even to myself, awaits our party beyond the Veil of Fate, a land also known as New York. This is who we have for now. They are the core, the heart of the adventure. And Lo! They are not alone! They have found brief allies as well!

How Long Will These Guys Be Around? Probably Until They Get Bored.

We have Donn, Donn Wolfeater, Donn the Fighter. Donn who almost abandoned his party to a pack of hungry and crazy wolves. Donn, who later redeemed himself by killing the shit out of some Mosquito Monsters. Donn Wolfeater is probably a Badass, much akin to our friend Lichen. Dear readers there is also another, another adventurer, another warrior of magical and mystical prowess. Her name is Ravynn, an Eladrin Princess of the Feywild, and a wicked cool Wizard. She gets right to the point, and is really Anime Pretty—we are sure of this fact because she drew a picture of herself, and it was very Anime Pretty.

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